Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
