I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
