haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
