you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
