Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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