i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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