Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
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