READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize
