Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
This gyro tastes like lonliness
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize
