Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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