i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
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