Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
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