I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
you made out with another girl for some wings
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