I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
