What a fucking waste of an outfit
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Randomize
