I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
