what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Someone shattered a urinal.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
