You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
