Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
You are a genius and a whore.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize
