Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Randomize
