I just saw a hot homeless man
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
