The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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