Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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