Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Randomize
