Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
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