How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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