Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
