Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
