What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
