is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
