i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
