when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize
