I am spending my child support on dildos
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Randomize
