youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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