i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
