that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
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