3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
