Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
