She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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