Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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