i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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