Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
