she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
