I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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