I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
