Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
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