You're a womanizer and a bitch.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
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