Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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