You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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