I bet he comes in French.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
