It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
